Awesome Bohemian Rhapsody parody – Midichlorian Rhapsody

September 6th, 2010 / No Comments » / by reveal

Just a fantastic parody for all of us Star Wars geeks out there!

Tomorrow is Free RPG Day!

June 18th, 2010 / 1 Comment » / by reveal

Make sure to stop by your FLGS and pick up some free swag! If your not sure if your FLGS will have free stuff, check out the official site to get a list of participating stores. From the site:

The goal of Free RPG Day is to inspire gamers to play a new RPG, which will in turn, create sales through local game stores.

These are the sponsors who have already committed to being a part of Free RPG Day 2010. This list is not final.

  • Alderac Entertainment Group
    Silver (5 per box), L5R 4th Edition RPG Quickstart & Adventure
  • Amarillo Design Bureau
    Store Sample (1 per box), Prime Directive Quickstart
  • Blue Panther
    Store Sample (1 per box), Unique Color Knockdown Dice Tower
  • Chessex Manufacturing
    Bronze (4 per box), Commemorative Dice
  • Columbia Games
    Store Sample (1 per box), Harn Quickstart & Adventure
  • Exile Game Studios
    Bronze (3 per box), Hollow Earth Expedition Quickstart & Adv.
  • Fantasy Flight Games
    Gold (10 per box), Warhammer 40K Roleplay: Deathwatch Adventure
  • Goodman Games
    Silver (5 per box), Age of Cthulhu Adventure: Abominations of the Amazon Adventure
  • Guild of Blades Publishing
    Store Sample (1 per box), Heroes Forever Quickstart & Adventure
  • Paizo Publishing
    Gold (10 per box), Pathfinder Module: Master of the Fallen Fortress
  • Q-Workshop
    Gold (10 per box), unique dice
  • Skirmisher Publishing
    Bronze (3 per box), d-∞, Volume 0
  • Troll Lord Games
    Silver (5 per box), Castles & Crusades Quickstart and Adventure
  • White Wolf Publishing
    Gold (10 per box), New Exalted 2nd Edition Quickstart & Adventure entitled “Under the Rose”
  • Wizards of the Coast
    Platinum (15 per box), Dark Sun 4th Edition D&D Adventure
he goal of Free RPG Day is to inspire gamers to play a new RPG, which will in turn, create sales through local game stores.

I Hit It With My Axe….. Seriously?

April 14th, 2010 / 5 Comments » / by reveal

Warning: This post contains naughty language.

So I figured it was time I watch one of the episodes of I Hit It With My Axe to see what all the fuss was about. I watched episode four because I thought by then they would work out the kinks and I could get a better idea of what the director was trying to accomplish. I was wrong. I came away from it with three distinct impressions.

You know you'd hit it1) People are fucking idiots. Reading the comments to the video, I noticed a lot of people posting that these girls weren’t “hot enough.” Holy shit guys, get some fucking perspective! These women are actors/strippers. When you see them in a video or on stage, they have on a lot of makeup, good lighting, they’re naked, etc. This is a video of them on their day off playing D&D. That’s like saying that Salma Hayek isn’t one of the most beautiful women in the world because that one time you saw her at 7:30 in the morning at Starbucks, she didn’t look like she’d spent hours working on her hair and the only reason you were there was because your mom made you get up for work, again, and Salma didn’t even acknowledge the cool new wolf moon tee shirt your mom bought you.

Probably would've done better2) The editor is an idiot. Whoever edited this thing looks like they did three hits of meth before working on the reel-to-reel. I had at least three seizures because of the one-second cutaways. I may have had more, but I lost count after the aneurysm.

3) It’s fucking boring. It’s a bunch of people sitting around playing D&D. Whee! “I rolled a 14!” “I turn into a werewolf!” “My daddy didn’t love me!” “I’ve lost the will to live and am seriously regretting the choices I’ve made in my life!*” I love gaming at the table when I’m actually participating but watching other people I don’t know play is just… well, it’s just awful.

*Ok, the last two didn’t happen but I was hoping for it. At least that would’ve been interesting.

All in all, I must say that I was disappointed. With the amount of twittering I saw about it, I expected more… well… anything. But all I got was a poorly edited, poorly soundtracked video of a bunch of girls playing D&D. Not even a wardrobe malfunction dammit! Seriously, if this wasn’t touted as “D&D with Porn Stars!” no one would give a shit.

April Fools’ Day on Wizards.com

April 1st, 2010 / No Comments » / by reveal

Every year, WotC puts out something on their D&D site for April Fools’ Day. They didn’t disappoint this year. :D

Movie Quote Powers

Many of us already do this around the table—make up variant names for our powers (the ranger’s claws of the griffon becomes claws of Kathy Griffin; the warlord’s steel monsoon becomes Gorilla Monsoon). In many cases, these new power names and their application are tied to movie quotes (as everything around the table gets tied, inevitably, to movie quotes… and so we’d be remiss not to mention Chatty DM’s warlord powers).

In today’s special feature, we decided to reverse-engineer the process, creating 4th Edition D&D powers based on movie quotes.

It goes without saying (but we’ll say it anyway), these are hardly game-legal. But it’s April 1st… and if anyone can convince their DMs to let you playtest the following—we say, more powers to you!

Predator

I Ain’t Got Time to Bleed
Utility
“You’re hit, man… you’re bleeding!”
Daily
Immediate Reaction Personal
Trigger: You take damage
Effect: Gain temporary hit points equal to the triggering damage.

Monty Python, Holy Grail

It’s Only a Flesh Wound
Fighter Utility 2
You are able to fight on, even through agonizing wounds. You can also continue peppering your opponents with witty remarks while you bleed at them.
Encounter Martial
Immediate Interrupt Personal
Trigger: An enemy damages you and you drop to 0 hit points or fewer
Effect: You are dying, but do not fall unconscious. You are able to stand (probably on one leg) but can take no actions other than insulting the triggering enemy while you are dying (and hopping). In addition, whenever an enemy moves adjacent to you for the rest of the encounter, you can threaten to either bleed at them or bite their knees.

Princess Bride

I’m Not Left Handed Either!
Dread Pirate Attack 5
Just when your enemy thinks they have you in a bad place (like a cliff edge), you switch your weapon to your other hand, show some fancy footwork, press the attack while showing your superior skill, and then knock your foe out.
Daily Martial, Sleep, Weapon
Immediate Reaction Melee weapon
Requirement: You must be wielding a one-handed weapon (preferably a rapier) and have your other hand free.
Trigger: An enemy bloodies you
Effect: You switch your weapon to your other hand with a flourish and make the following attack.
Target: The triggering enemy
Attack: Dexterity vs. AC
Effect: Before the attack, you push the target 5 squares, then shift adjacent to the target (using Acrobatics or Athletics, if possible… especially if you can do a spinning somersault off of a bar, which gains a +10 bonus to the check).
Hit: The target falls unconscious (save ends).
Special: If the target is a Spaniard, it takes a –5 penalty to saving throws against this effect.

The Matrix

Dodge This!
Ranger Attack 9
You slide up behind your enemy while it’s distracted and gloating about its superiority, and attack from “up-close-and-personal” range. The attack is even more harmful to agents… uh, constructs.
Daily Martial, Weapon
Immediate Interrupt Ranged weapon
Requirement: You must be wielding a ranged weapon.
Trigger: An enemy within 4 squares of you targets an ally (who you like to call “the one”) with a ranged attack
Effect: Before the attack, you shift adjacent to the triggering enemy as a free action and make a Stealth check with a +10 bonus to the check against its Perception. If you succeed, you make the following attack (without provoking an attack of opportunity).
Target: The triggering enemy
Attack: Dexterity vs. AC
Hit: 2[W] + Dexterity modifier damage.
Effect: If the target is a construct, the attack instead deals 6[W] damage and you score an automatic critical hit against the target.

Pirates of the Caribbean

And Really Bad Eggs
Rogue Utility 16
Drink up me ‘earties. Yo ho.
Daily Charm, Martial
Minor Action Close burst 5
Requirement: You must have a broken compass.
Target: You and each creature in burst
Effect: You gain a +10 bonus on the next d20 roll you make until the start of your next turn. Each creature in the burst other than you must drink from a flask or bottle of rum as a free action. Those who do gain 15 temporary hit points and grant combat advantage until the start of your next turn. Any target that does not partake must succeed on a saving throw; on a failed save, the target cannot take standard actions until the end of your next turn.

Roll-Playing for Roleplaying

Dice-n-Wipes

The Dork Anthem

March 4th, 2010 / 2 Comments » / by reveal

“The Dork Anthem” by Dave and Brian

There are no words to describe how awesome this is. :D