So I figured it was time I watch one of the episodes of I Hit It With My Axe to see what all the fuss was about. I watched episode four because I thought by then they would work out the kinks and I could get a better idea of what the director was trying to accomplish. I was wrong. I came away from it with three distinct impressions.

1) People are fucking idiots. Reading the comments to the video, I noticed a lot of people posting that these girls weren’t “hot enough.” Holy shit guys, get some fucking perspective! These women are actors/strippers. When you see them in a video or on stage, they have on a lot of makeup, good lighting, they’re naked, etc. This is a video of them on their day off playing D&D. That’s like saying that Salma Hayek isn’t one of the most beautiful women in the world because that one time you saw her at 7:30 in the morning at Starbucks, she didn’t look like she’d spent hours working on her hair and the only reason you were there was because your mom made you get up for work, again, and Salma didn’t even acknowledge the cool new wolf moon tee shirt your mom bought you.

2) The editor is an idiot. Whoever edited this thing looks like they did three hits of meth before working on the reel-to-reel. I had at least three seizures because of the one-second cutaways. I may have had more, but I lost count after the aneurysm.

3) It’s fucking boring. It’s a bunch of people sitting around playing D&D. Whee! “I rolled a 14!” “I turn into a werewolf!” “My daddy didn’t love me!” “I’ve lost the will to live and am seriously regretting the choices I’ve made in my life!*” I love gaming at the table when I’m actually participating but watching other people I don’t know play is just… well, it’s just awful.

*Ok, the last two didn’t happen but I was hoping for it. At least that would’ve been interesting.

All in all, I must say that I was disappointed. With the amount of twittering I saw about it, I expected more… well… anything. But all I got was a poorly edited, poorly soundtracked video of a bunch of girls playing D&D. Not even a wardrobe malfunction dammit! Seriously, if this wasn’t touted as “D&D with Porn Stars!” no one would give a shit.

Movie Quote Powers

Many of us already do this around the table—make up variant names for our powers (the ranger’s claws of the griffon becomes claws of Kathy Griffin; the warlord’s steel monsoon becomes Gorilla Monsoon). In many cases, these new power names and their application are tied to movie quotes (as everything around the table gets tied, inevitably, to movie quotes… and so we’d be remiss not to mention Chatty DM’s warlord powers).

In today’s special feature, we decided to reverse-engineer the process, creating 4th Edition D&D powers based on movie quotes.

It goes without saying (but we’ll say it anyway), these are hardly game-legal. But it’s April 1st… and if anyone can convince their DMs to let you playtest the following—we say, more powers to you!

Predator

Monty Python, Holy Grail

It’s Only a Flesh Wound

Fighter Utility 2

You are able to fight on, even through agonizing wounds. You can also continue peppering your opponents with witty remarks while you bleed at them.

Encounter Martial
Immediate Interrupt Personal
Trigger: An enemy damages you and you drop to 0 hit points or fewer

Effect: You are dying, but do not fall unconscious. You are able to stand (probably on one leg) but can take no actions other than insulting the triggering enemy while you are dying (and hopping). In addition, whenever an enemy moves adjacent to you for the rest of the encounter, you can threaten to either bleed at them or bite their knees.

Princess Bride

I’m Not Left Handed Either!

Dread Pirate Attack 5

Just when your enemy thinks they have you in a bad place (like a cliff edge), you switch your weapon to your other hand, show some fancy footwork, press the attack while showing your superior skill, and then knock your foe out.

Daily Martial, Sleep, Weapon
Immediate Reaction Melee weapon
Requirement: You must be wielding a one-handed weapon (preferably a rapier) and have your other hand free.
Trigger: An enemy bloodies you

Effect: You switch your weapon to your other hand with a flourish and make the following attack.

Target: The triggering enemy

Attack: Dexterity vs. AC

Effect: Before the attack, you push the target 5 squares, then shift adjacent to the target (using Acrobatics or Athletics, if possible… especially if you can do a spinning somersault off of a bar, which gains a +10 bonus to the check).

Hit: The target falls unconscious (save ends).

Special: If the target is a Spaniard, it takes a –5 penalty to saving throws against this effect.

The Matrix

Dodge This!

Ranger Attack 9

You slide up behind your enemy while it’s distracted and gloating about its superiority, and attack from “up-close-and-personal” range. The attack is even more harmful to agents… uh, constructs.

Daily Martial, Weapon
Immediate Interrupt Ranged weapon
Requirement: You must be wielding a ranged weapon.
Trigger: An enemy within 4 squares of you targets an ally (who you like to call “the one”) with a ranged attack

Effect: Before the attack, you shift adjacent to the triggering enemy as a free action and make a Stealth check with a +10 bonus to the check against its Perception. If you succeed, you make the following attack (without provoking an attack of opportunity).

Target: The triggering enemy

Attack: Dexterity vs. AC

Hit: 2[W] + Dexterity modifier damage.

Effect: If the target is a construct, the attack instead deals 6[W] damage and you score an automatic critical hit against the target.

Pirates of the Caribbean

And Really Bad Eggs

Rogue Utility 16

Drink up me ‘earties. Yo ho.

Daily Charm, Martial
Minor Action Close burst 5
Requirement: You must have a broken compass.
Target: You and each creature in burst

Effect: You gain a +10 bonus on the next d20 roll you make until the start of your next turn. Each creature in the burst other than you must drink from a flask or bottle of rum as a free action. Those who do gain 15 temporary hit points and grant combat advantage until the start of your next turn. Any target that does not partake must succeed on a saving throw; on a failed save, the target cannot take standard actions until the end of your next turn.

Roll-Playing for Roleplaying

Dice-n-Wipes

But March the fourth made me whimper
When the news it was delivered
Sad news from the Troll Lord
And then on every message board

I can’t remember which of my dice
I chose to roll that very night
For the man who got it right
The day the DM died

So, bye, bye Mr. d20 Guy
Failed the final saving throw and then didn’t survive
And all around the world, the gamers did cry
Sayin’ thank you Mr. d20 Guy
Thank you Mr. d20 Guy

Have you read the PHB
And have you looked through the DMG
And what the heck is a drow (drough)
This is going to be so f’n cool
My dwarf barbarian will make you drool
And I really think you pronounce it drow (cow)

Well I know that things are looking grim
The dragon’s looking right at him
Made a percentile roll
I’m now hiding in shadows

I was a lucky halfling, that’s a fact
Stole lots of things and put ‘em in my pack
But I knew I could never go back
The day the DM died

I started rollin’
Bye, bye Mr. d20 Guy
Failed the final saving throw and then didn’t survive
And all around the world, the gamers did cry
Sayin’ thank you Mr. d20 Guy
Thank you Mr. d20 Guy

Now, for over ten years we’ve been rollin’ well
I even took my paladin to hell
But, boy, the rules have really changed
I was really sad to see half-orcs go
And what the hell is THACO
But, man, I really dig the weapon speed

Oh, and while the king was in L.A.
The jesters took his game away
The boardroom was adjourned
When the DM did return
And with pirates that would block the way
The king was told he couldn’t stay
But all that madness went away
The day the DM died

We were rollin’
Bye, bye Mr. d20 Guy
Failed the final saving throw and then didn’t survive
And all around the world, the gamers did cry
Sayin’ thank you Mr. d20 Guy
Thank you Mr. d20 Guy

Holy moley I’m checkin’ out the ranger
Two-weapon fighting makes him a danger
DM’s think he’s a pain in the ass
Player’s monk ran out of gas
Every flurry just seemed to pass
Leaving the bad guy without a scratch

Now I really like these brand new feats
My half-orc fighter’s really neat
I tried to run a game
Oh, but it just wasn’t the same

‘Cause the players have kids of their own
And no one remembers what to roll
And we were shocked down to our soul
The day the DM died

We started rollin’
Bye, bye Mr. d20 Guy
Failed the final saving throw and then didn’t survive
And all around the world, the gamers did cry
Sayin’ thank you Mr. d20 Guy
Thank you Mr. d20 Guy

Oh, and there we were just running the race
A generation losing pace
With no time left to game again
But come on let’s look through this brand new book
Man these powers really cook
You mean I get to play a dragon

And as I watched the gamers laugh
The memories came flooding back
Time it can go so fast
No living in the past

And as the dice rolled on into the night
I realized it just felt right
And I held back tears with all my might
The day the DM died

He was rollin’
Bye, bye Mr. d20 Guy
Failed the final saving throw and then didn’t survive
And all around the world, the gamers did cry
Sayin’ thank you Mr. d20 Guy
Thank you Mr. d20 Guy

I knew that when I read the news
I had just bid my childhood adieu
And I just sighed and turned away
I went down to the local store
Where I had gamed some years before
But the man there said that gamers couldn’t stay

And on the web the players mourned
About the game that he had born
Not a bad word was posted
The game master was toasted

And many folks admired the guy
Who’s rollin’ dice up in the sky
We told ourselves that we could cry
The day the DM died

And they were rollin’
Bye, bye Mr. d20 Guy
Failed the final saving throw and then didn’t survive
And all around the world, the gamers did cry
Sayin’ thank you Mr. d20 Guy
Thank you Mr. d20 Guy

They were rollin’
Bye, bye Mr. d20 Guy
Failed the final saving throw and then didn’t survive
And all around the world, the gamers did cry
Sayin’ thank you Mr. d20 Guy

The application period for being a peer reviewers closes December 31st, 2009. These individuals will be responsible for reading the entries (not all of them mind you, I will spread the word count around) and interacting with me during the final decision making process. If chosen, your names will be witheld until publication of the book. If you are interested, please click here for more information and to submit your information: http://rpganthology.wufoo.com/forms/open-game-table-volume-2-peer-review-application/

The submission deadline for nominations of blog posts closes January 15th, 2010. I’ve streamlined the submission process so that all you need to is submit a valid URL. Up to 5 per submission form can be accomodated; but there’s no limit to how many you can send in. The nomination form, and more information, can be found here: http://rpganthology.wufoo.com/forms/open-game-table-vol-2-blog-post-nomination-form/

I don’t like the idea of telling the player “X hits you for Y damage” only to allow the player to say “I would have used the ring!” and have to retcon everything. I think that puts too much power in the hands of the player. Also, I don’t want to slow things down just to ask the player “do you use the ring?” before every single attack against them in combat. OTOH, I don’t want to tell the player “no you can’t have it” because it’s a pretty cool “not in the face!” item.

So what ways could I do this to not slow things down and not put too much power in the players hands but still keep things fun and fair?

http://twitter.com/ENnies

I Am A: Lawful Good Human Fighter (5th Level)

Ability Scores:

Strength-14

Dexterity-14

Constitution-15

Intelligence-15

Wisdom-16

Charisma-16

Alignment:
Lawful Good A lawful good character acts as a good person is expected or required to act. He combines a commitment to oppose evil with the discipline to fight relentlessly. He tells the truth, keeps his word, helps those in need, and speaks out against injustice. A lawful good character hates to see the guilty go unpunished. Lawful good is the best alignment you can be because it combines honor and compassion. However, lawful good can be a dangerous alignment because it restricts freedom and criminalizes self-interest.

Race:
Humans are the most adaptable of the common races. Short generations and a penchant for migration and conquest have made them physically diverse as well. Humans are often unorthodox in their dress, sporting unusual hairstyles, fanciful clothes, tattoos, and the like.

Class:
Fighters can be many things, from soldiers to criminal enforcers. Some see adventure as a way to get rich, while others use their skills to protect the innocent. Fighters have the best all-around fighting capabilities of the PC classes, and they are trained to use all standard weapons and armor. A fighter’s rigorous martial training grants him many bonus feats as he progresses, and high-level fighters have access to special melee maneuvers and exotic weapons not available to any other character.

Find out What Kind of Dungeons and Dragons Character Would You Be?, courtesy of Easydamus

Bullywug, bullywug,
Does whatever a bullywug does
In the mud, they can hide,
Kills PCs just like flies
Look out!
Here comes a bullywug.

Can he hop?
Listen bud,
Goes up high, comes down with a thud.
Isn’t this some kind of joke?
Quiet or he’ll make you croak.
Hey, there
There goes a bullywug.

In the heat of swamp
Underneath all the muck
Getting ready to jump
And now you’re out of luck

Bullywug, bullywug
Bloated, bug-eyed bullywug
Mottled skin
Great big tongue
Hunting things just for fun.

To him, life can be really nasty
But if you need a patsy
There’s always a bullywug!

ROADIE

“The hum of the mandolin.
The crash of the tambourine.
The bard needs a coffee.”

CLASS TRAITS

Role: Defender. You are used and abused but have the uncanny ability of stopping foes in their tracks.
Power Source: Martial. Your three hours of karate class make you a formidable opponent.
Key Abilities: Strength, Constitution, Charisma
Armor Proficiencies: Cloth, leather, chainmail
Weapon Proficiencies: Dagger, club, improvised melee weapons, unarmed attack
Implements: Alcohol, musical instruments
Bonus to Defense: +1 Fortitude, +1 Will
Hit Points at 1st Level: 15 + Constitution score
Hit Points per Level Gained: 8
Healing Surges per Day: 12 + Constitution modifier

Trained Skills: Endurance. From the class skills list below, choose two more trained skills at 1st level. Class Skills: Athletics (Str), Bluff (Cha), Intimidate (Cha), Streetwise (Cha)

Class Features: Armor of Funk, I’m with the band, Oh no you don’t, Rage of Denial

Roadies. What would the bards do without roadies? Nothing! That’s what they’d do. While the bard may be the frontman, the roadie works behind the scenes to make sure all bard performances go off without a hitch.

When the bard pulls out a lute to mock her opponent by quickly creating a bawdy limerick, who do you think makes sure the lute is tuned?

When the bard plays his harp in such a manner that women throw their undergarments at him, who do you think gathers them up?

When a crazed fan rushes the bard to either get an autograph or stab him, who do you think takes the nutjob down?

When a groupie wants to meet the bard, who do you think sacrifices themselves by making the groupie “go through me first?”

The roadie, that’s who. From tuning instruments to fetching refreshments, roadies do it all. Literally.

ROADIE CLASS FEATURES

Roadies have the following class features.

Armor of Funk

With all the preparation necessary to support the bard, the roadie rarely has time to bathe. For every one week that passes since the roadie’s last bath, you gain a +2 bonus to AC since no one really wants to be around you.

I’m With the Band

Roadies are adept at dealing with bard groupies. You gain the I’m with the band power.

Lone Bodyguard

Roadies can stop even the craziest of fans from reaching the bard. You gain the lone bodyguard power.

Rage of Denial

While roadie is a respectable job, there are those who don’t fully understand what it is you do. Any time someone refers to you as either a “lackey” or a “henchman,” you fly into a salivating rage. You gain a +2 to Strength, a +2 to Constitution, and a -2 to Charisma for a number of rounds equal to your Roadie class levels plus your new Charisma modifier.

Roadie Talent

Bards need, and deserve, to be pampered. Instruments need to be prepped, voices need to be cared for, ego need to be soothed, etc. Choose one of the following options.

• Brewing Talent: Once per round, if the bard fails to damage an enemy, you can, as a free action, slide a number of squares necessary to stand next to the bard and sooth his fragile ego with a nice cup of tea.

• Tuning Talent: Once per round, if the bard fails to damage an enemy when using an instrument, you can, as a free action, slide a number of squares necessary to stand next to the bard. You immediately start tuning the instrument while being verbally abused by the humiliated bard.

IMPLEMENTS

You are adept at using all musical instruments. In a matter of seconds, you can make even the most out-of-tune mandolin sing like a Deva. You are also a master of using alcohol to your advantage. Roadies who eventually becomes bards themselves, unlikely but not unheard of, continue to use the musical instruments they so willingly tuned and cared for.

CREATING A ROADIE

When creating a roadie, you must keep in mind the roadies age. Young roadies are typically wide-eyed and naïve, ready to tackle any obstacle the bard puts in their way. Jaded  veterans, however, are typically just going through the motions as their spirit was broken a long time ago.

Naïve Roadie

Your heroes are bards. They have hundreds of adoring fans, live wild lifestyles, and you want to be one of them. Your highest ability should be Constitution, as you’ll be expected to take a lot of damage in the name of the bard. You’ll also need Strength to tote around all of the bard’s equipment. Charisma will help when dealing with fans.
Suggested Class Feature: Tuning Talent
Suggested Feat: Defensive Mobility
Suggested Skills: Athletics, Endurance, Intimidate

Jaded Veteran

Your heroes used to be bards. Once a naïve roadie, you have come to accept your fate in life. Charisma should be your highest ability, since you’re good at spotting any BS that comes your way. Your Constitution should be high because it will take every ounce of inner strength to continue through your existence. A high Strength will help but every day reminds you that you’re not as strong as you used to be.
Suggested Class Feature: Brewing Talent
Suggested Feat: Durable
Suggested Skills: Bluff, Endurance, Streetwise

ROADIE POWERS

Your powers are typically supportive in nature. Your entire worth is usually dependent upon the effectiveness of the bard.

Class Features

Each roadie has the powers I’m with the band and lone bodyguard.

I’m With the Band – Roadie Feature
You are adept at talking to fans of the bard in order to separate the “good ones” from the “bad ones”
Encounter • Implement
Minor Action
Close burst 1
Target: One creature
Attack: Charisma vs. Will
Effect: You gain a +5 bonus to the next Intimidate or Bluff check you make before the end of your next turn.

Lone Bodyguard – Roadie Feature
You are willing to sacrifice your body for the good of the bard
Encounter • Implement (Alcohol)
Minor Action
Melee implement
Target: One creature
Attack: Charisma vs. Will
Effect: You can slide a number of squares equal to your Charisma modifier and force the enemy to attack you instead of the bard.

As luck would have it, my source, the same source that slipped me the skills that were rejected during the creation of 3rd Edition, has sent me the new character sheet for 5th edition. It’s… interesting to say the least. For example, you level up after every fifth encounter, skills are all strength based, and you gain a feat at every level. There are some other changes but I’ll let you see them for yourself to draw your own conclusions.

Click each image for a larger view.

Click here to download the whole thing in PDF format

So why the reaction to change? There are typically two reasons; 1) A fear of the unknown and 2) An expectation of loss. For example, people who played D&D had been playing 3rd edition for many years before 4th edition hit the shelves. They had time to digest the ruleset, play with it, and make it their own. But 4th edition had new features and updates of which they were completely unaware. And, because of that, they expected to lose features of their game that they hade come to know and love. And even when the new edition did hit the shelves, the people who resisted change would read with a critical eye, looking for anything that would support their theories. By the way, replace “3rd edition” and “4th edition” with “2nd edition” and “3rd edition,” respectively, and you have the same reaction.

What about the edition wars? Should you try to assuage people’s fears or argue with them? In short, no. The longer answer is, “it depends.” If you read something on the internet and a person/people are grousing about the changes to “their beloved game,” then you’re not going to be able to change their minds and you’re just going to get frustrated at their “inability to see things my way.” And why is that? Because you have no personal stake in them. In a personal setting, you interact with people directly. You are there to help them along the way, holding their hand when necessary, and present a friendly face to let them know that the change is not going to hurt them. In the anonymous environment of the internet, these posters don’t know you from Adam and so you’re rebuttals to their arguments will fall upon deaf ears.

In real life, however, that’s where it goes from “no” to “it depends.” If you have a friend or acquaintance who is complaining about changes, then you might be able to calm their fears and, perhaps, get them to at least reasonably examine the changes before forming a negative opinion. Even then, it may not be worth your time, but your relationship with them will give you a better idea on how to proceed. You may even be able to convince them to take the rules out for a test drive to see how they run and then see if their opinion still holds water.

So, in the end, it all boils down to the fact that people are people and human nature regarding change has not changed much (read: at all) in the centuries we’ve been on this planet. In gaming, edition wars will come and go. The best that you can do is to try things out for yourself and then form your own opinions. And if you come across someone with a negative opinion of something they’ve never really taken the time to get to know, you only have one option: Kill them and take their stuff.

Eberron Story Hour Collection 1

After a few minutes of arguing, watch order was decided and the night passed quickly. In the morning, Jebber healed everyone.

“Thank the Host, I feel much better today. Is everyone else ready to press on?” Kolthak took another look at the journal to see if it gave any info about the forge and the rods. It, of course, was still blank. Taking a chance, he assumed the order of the rod was triangle, square, pentagon.

As soon as the pentagon slid into place, he heard a loud *click* from behind the forge. He looked and saw that there was a small opening in the wall. Within the opening, they found a sack containing 100 silver pieces, a sack containing 100 gold pieces, four gold ingots, three blue potions, one red potion, an old map, and an adamantine plate shaped into a seven-pointed star. It was slightly more than six inches long from point to point, and was covered with strange engraved patterns.

Lealani picked up the star and look it over, “Is this some sort of key I wonder?” Her face lit up a few seconds later. “Ah, this is what the lady is searching for! Success! I wonder what kind of special metal these bars must be. Can anyone identify them?”

Jebber took the potions and stare at them for a few minutes. Eventually, he was able to determine that the blue potions were potions of cure moderate wounds and the red potion was a potion of mage armor. He then studied the coins. They were old, of that there was no doubt. If they found the right person to sell them to, they could get more than face value for them.

Kolthak took the map to study it. The old map showed a number of cryptic symbols spread throughout what appeared to be ancient depictions of the territory that were now divided between the Mournland and Darguun.

He then hefted the seven-pointed star. “I think we’ve explored this whole area, so are we ready to return this to Lady d’Cannith?”

Lealani answered. “I guess there is no reason to stay here further, we’ve found what we need, right? Maybe we could make a copy of this map though, in case of trouble. Is anyone good at that?”

“Or perhaps we can keep the map, as I don’t think she asked about it,” said Kolthak.

Rathan said, “Before we leave, if no one objects, I’d like to switch into that suit of chain mail. It will give me better armor than this studded leather.”

“That sounds like an excellent idea, Rathan,” said Kolthak.

“We’re all patched up & ready to go? Let’s go see what kind of welcoming committee that last flying orb brought back,” said Jebber.
Rathan opened the door leading out. “Hopefully there are no more surprises.”

As they emerged from the foundry, a flaming crossbow bolt streaked from the rubble surrounding the large stone column. “Weakflesh!” a powerful voice called out from that direction. “Now you face Saber, greatest of the devoted followers of the Lord of Blades. Throw down the schema and walk away. This day does not have to end with your blood on my hands.” They could see a warforged in the shadows, its crossbow loaded with another bolt.

“Hah, my real allies have finally shown themselves! Good riddance to all these poor soft fleshies and their porous exoskeletons. They would never suspect that I, this poor damaged warforged, was in reality the Lord of Blades! Mwahahaha!” Shrapnel yelled, standing towards the back applying generous vials of repair light wounds salve even as the crossbow bolt goes flying by.

“I seriously hope it’s your malfunction making you seem as if you would stab us in the back, warforged” Lealani said in a fiery tone. “As while you have fought with us your words show us no honor or loyalty.”

“After all this trouble you send after us do you honestly think we’d just leave it to you? It must be of much value. No, you’re going to have to take it from us and it won’t be easy you Nadorhuan,” she then yelled at the warforged in the shadows.

Shrapnel began to make strange hand gestures and a shrug followed by, “What is she talking about this time? I didn’t say anything! Wait! She must be reading my mind… or my circuits… or whatever! She’s a witch! A WITCH!”

The warforged in the shadow yelled at Shrapnel, “You rust covered bucket of bolts! Anyone who helps the fleshies like you have will die by my hand!”

It then turned its attention to Lealani. “How dare you talk about my master that way, you elven witch! You are nothing compared to Him and the great quest he longs to fulfill!”

“Another damned warforged! I’ve got nothing against this Lord of Blades, but he is seriously starting to piss me off,” cursed Rathan.

“You speak in the tongue of one that is truly useless, fleshbag. If you are to speak to me, speak to me clearly and concisely,” answered the warforged.

Kolthak whispered softly, “Well lad, I guess that answers the question of what that winged globe would conjure up.”

Then he spoke to the warforged. “You misbegotten rustbucket! Your behavior shows you’re just like your so-called fleshies; you’re little more than a cowardly, thieving cultist!”

Lealani laughed. “I called you a cowardly dog which seems just about correct. I’ll make sure to hold onto that star extra tightly then in case you decide to be a hero.”

With the enemy’s attention focused on Lealani, Kolthak makes a move to flank the warforged. The warforged is keen to this and lets loose a flaming bolt which pierces Kolthak’s leg!

Lealani moves up and casts color spray! She covers the warforged in a rainbow of color. He looks directly at her and says, “Is that all you have, fleshbag? You’ll have to do better than that.”

Rathan moved up to protect Lealani.

Jebber moves around a large pile of rubble, trying to stay under cover and fire off a shard at the warforged. He misses. Ilyra follows him and lets loose a ray of enfeeblement, which hits him and saps his strength.

Kolthak stepped up and used a potion of cure moderate wounds.

The warforged stepped up to Lealani. “Let me show you how a real warrior does things,” he said as he swung his longsword. Apparently, he wasn’t a real warrior because he missed horribly.

Lealani laughed at his miss and stepped back to cast color spray again. The warforged screeched and dropped his sword. His hands flew to his eyes. “You’ve blinded me, you bitch! I’ll kill you!”

“You’ll have to find me first,” she said coolly.

Rathan stepped up and hit the warforged hard with his longsword. “Take that you iron bastard!”

“So he doesn’t believe I am who I am? What a fool! I guess I’ll have to punish him for his amazing credulousness.” Shrapnel moved up and slammed the stunned warforged upside the head.

Jebber moved and missed with his crossbow. Ilyra let loose a magic missile, hitting the enemy squarely.

Kolthak cast swift expeditious retreat and circled around behind the enemy, setting up a flank with Sharpnel. “Take this ya tin-plated bastard!” he said as he connected with his axe. The warforged’s head flew off. Immediately thereafter, a small orb detached itself from the forged, sprouted wings, and headed off down a tunnel.

Kolthak let out a yell and kicked the head to see how far he can get it. “Rust in parts ya bastard!”

“Good shot, Kolthak. Why do warforged have it out for us?” Rathan turned to Shrapnel. “Can we trust you or not, mister Lord of the Blades?”

“He’s a witch too! What do I do? What do I do? AHHHHH! I’ve got to stay calm. I have to think calm thoughts! NO – WAIT! THEY’RE STILL READING MY MIND! Even in my own head I’m not safe? What should I do? Run? Play dead? Fight for my life? Oh, I know… I’ll sprout one of those stupid wingy things that keep popping out of the other ‘forged. That will fix this! Now… how do I do that?”
“Wait… maybe if I can convince myself that I’m not really the lord of blades, then they’ll believe me. I mean, I don’t have any blades… or even sharp pointy things… well… besides my head…”

“Yes… it’s working! I almost don’t think I believe myself! Why I almost don’t think I thought that
thought at all… I thunk.”

Rathan looked up at Shrapnel, “You are truly a broken warforged. If you betray us, I will personally cut your head from your body.” Rathan then turned toward Kolthak. “Is that longsword anything special?”

“It’s working! I’m almost not thunk I’m thinking at all!” Shrapnel said to no one in particular.

Lealani shook her head. “May my ancestors grant me the patience to make it to the surface in the company of this one. We might have to force him to get fixed when we return there!”

“It appears to be magical, but not strongly so. A nice enough weapon..for a sword.” Kolthak looked at the rest of the group. “Would anyone be interested in this crossbow? And shall we head back to the surface?”

“A magical sword could be a good thing. If no one minds, I can make use of it,” queries Rathan.

“I think you are the only one who wields a sword, so you should have it,” said Lealani. “I do not need the crossbow Ai’atar, I don’t know how to use it. We have the other items we found also, we should not forget.”

Jebber piped up, “Let us leave this place. I would stand beneath the sky again.”

The group quietly made their way back to the surface world, unsure of what would happen once they were up there.

Continuing into the blackness, a dark carpet suddenly slid across the dusty floor and moved toward them. No, not a carpet, but a mass of squirming, chittering, shiny black beetles that were moving with a hungry purpose.

“Who’s got a great idea here? Some way to spread the torch fire around?” Lealani asked, before casting mage armor on herself. Ilyra also activated her mage armor.

“I don’t have to outrun the swarm… I just have to outrun some of the fleshbodies,” proclaimed Shrapnel.

Jebber detached a pint of oil from his backpack, hefting the heavy liquid. “Oil’s ready, someone prepare to ignite it!”

“I will do it, I’m in the front anyway,” said Lealani. She reached out to Rathan and said with a grin, “If you do not protest,” and took the torch from him, knowing he wouldn’t. “It may be wise to find another one of these, just in case. And pointy blades don’t look to do well here, bashing may be better.”

Ilyra drew her own vial of oil and threw it at the swarm, hitting it squarely. “I think I got them. Lealani, NOW!!!”

Lealani threw her torch at the group and they lit up, casting moving shadows throughout the cavern. This did not stop their approach, however.

“Good throw, Lealani!” complimented Rathan.

“Thank you mellon, now it’s your turn to be in the front!”

Rathan turns to Jebber, “Did she just call me a melon?”

“What the hell, it’s worth a shot…” Shrapnel says as he stomps on the bugs that aren’t on fire. They seem to take the message and break up, scattering to the darkness.

“By the Host, burnt beetles smell disgusting. I’m just glad we ate earlier,” coughs Jebber.

Lealani turned to the group. “Lle ume quel everyone. Are you alright Jebber? You seem full of cough lately.”

“I’ll be fine, milady, it’s just a tad”*cough*”more dank than I prefer.”

“Ah, yes, it is quite… unfresh down here. Let’s get what we came for then and be done with it, although I imagine we have more tests to overcome first before we can accomplish our goal.”

“Damned bugs. Ah well, probably not the only creepy-crawlies we’ll see down here. Shall we press on?” asked Kolthak.

Jebber answered. “Lead on, master Dwarf.”

Rathan lit another torch. The group slowly made its way towards where its goal. Shadows flickered as the light from the torches and lanterns played against the ruins that were scattered about. From the shadowy rubble to the right of the group, Rathan thought he heard something moving. He pointed to the rubble and he, Jebber, Ilyra all saw shadowy figures moving in their direction, obviously trying to hide from view. They couldn’t make out what they were. Suddenly, two hideous creatures that looked like demonic rats jumped out of the shadows!

Shrapnel was the first to speak. “OOOH! A doggie! I just want to pet it!”

“Wretched things! Know your place in the food chain!” Jebber yelled as he drew his cold iron dagger.

Lealani let go with a bright cone of energy that washed over both rats. They both suddenly fall over, as if in a deep sleep. After that, they finished them easily.

“Well, that wasn’t too bad,” Lealani said, swiping her hands together if that was easy work. She didn’t want to admit to the others how pleased she was that her spells were working in practical situations. “Let’s keep going.” Lealani continued to lead the way in the direction they were heading.

The group eventually made its way to a large building that, for its age, was in pretty good shape. As they walked around its outskirts, they saw that it was completely intact. The double doors on the western wall were large and looked to be made of thick, black metal. The same icon that was on the cover of Bonal’s journal spanned both side of the doors.

“Well, I guess this is the place. Let’s see if these doors open the same way as the rest.” So saying, Kolthak touched the symbol on the journal cover to the symbol on the door. Nothing happened. “Well, that’s a bit odd. Lass, would you mind checking this door for traps before any of us give it a push?”

“Certainly,” Lealani said as she searched the door for traps. After a few moments of studying the door thoroughly, Lealani stepped back from it. “There are no traps, per say, but there is a
magical effect, an arcane lock spell. I do not have the means of unlocking that.” She was still surprised no one has wondered why a singer would have the skills to search for traps and pick lock, but she knew better than to question her luck.

“Perhaps we should look for another way in,” Rathan suggested.

“We could do that. Or Ilyra might be able to do something with that spell, I’m not sure. There may be a key of some sort – a word – that opens it. But we’d have no way of knowing it unless it’s in the book or they were silly and wrote it on the wall somewhere around here.” Unfortunately, Ilyra shook her head. She had no spell for the current circumstances.

While the rest of the group stared at the front door, Rathan walked around the perimeter of the building and looked for another way in. While he didn’t see any openings, he did notice that the walls looked like they’d be easy enough to climb if they were so inclined.

“Well now, that’s an obstacle. Let’s see if that book tells us anything.” Kolthak looked through the journal for anything about this room. Of course, the book was still blank. “It was too much to hope that the book would give us a password. It seems odd that they go to the trouble to lock the door but make it easy to get in through the roof. Anyone want to climb up and take a look?”

Rathan volunteers. “I can climb up and look.” He easily climbed to the roof and noticed a very large hole in the northwest corner. “I’ve found a way in. There’s a large hole here in the roof,” he yelled to the group.

“Part of the roof collapsed?” Kolthak shook his head sadly. “All the powerful wards and locks you like, but if you let the building collapse it doesn’t help ya much.” He looked at the rest of the group. “Well, everyone up for a climb? I can stay for last in case any more beasties come calling while we’re climbing.”

“Sounds like a good plan.” Lealani tried to climb up the building the way Rathan did and found it easy enough to do so. After a few minutes, everyone was on the roof.

Kolthak made his way to the hole in the roof and looked inside the building. A large chunk of the ceiling had fallen in, crushing cabinets and shelves beneath the weight of brick and stone. The remains of what appeared to be a metal dog that was also caught in the falling stones jutted from the debris. Dusty shelves, intact, line the southern wall, and a huge forge and furnace filled the eastern part of the room. Neither appeared to have been used in centuries.

“Well, I don’t think this will be so easy to climb. Let’s see if we can find something to tie some ropes to so we can make things easier on ourselves.” Kolthak looked for something secure to tie a couple of ropes to by the hole, with the hopes of being able to use the ropes to rappel or as a brace against the climb rather than just having to shimmy up the ropes. He found an area to tie off the rope and tugged on it after. It held firm. He looked up at the rest of the group. “Well, it looks like the rope should hold. Let’s see what’s down there.” He started to descend into the building and Rathan followed.

As they made it down to the bottom of the rope, two sets of red eyes appeared in the darkness. Out of the shadows approached two mechanical dogs, each growling menacingly.

Kolthak jumped off the rope and moved out of the way for others to climb down. “Get down here! There are Iron Defenders down here; constructs and they don’t look friendly!”

Kolthak let loose a wave of color that washed over both creatures but seemed to have no effect on them. Both beasts moved up. One of them bit at Rathan but its teeth hit on a piece of shattered table instead. Kolthak was not as lucky and teeth sank into his flesh.

“Oh look, doggies! I want one!” Shrapnel said as he descended the rope.

Ilyra moved to the edge of the hole and fired with her crossbow but missed wildly.

Jebber walked to the top-left corner of the structure and cast light into the dark chamber, taking care to illuminate both visible opponents.

Lealani moved to a better position at the top of the hole and cast daze on one of the beasts, to no effect.

Rathan swung his heavy mace and crunched into the nearest metal dog.

“Son of a bitch!” Kolthak swung at the creature that bit him but missed. “Bastard!” He stepped behind the warforged to avoid a second, fatal chomp. “Laddy, I need a healer!”

The beast, sensing that Kolthak was wounded, moved quickly to attack, hitting with a vicious blow that nearly severs his leg. Kolthak fell where he stood, bleeding profusely. The other beast attacked Rathan this time and hit.

“Looks like I’ll have to teach them some discipline! I’ll smash one!” Shrapnel hit the metal dog that felled Kolthak. He reached over and touched Kolthak on the chest. His eyes immediately opened and he sucked in a great deal of breath before standing up.

“They are just regular constructs,” Ilyra shouted to the rest of the group “Try magics that will work on that!” She cast magic missile at the dog threatening Kolthak. The magic slammed into the creatures body, obviously hurting it.

“What kind of magics work on constructs???” yelled Lealani.

“I know what does NOT work! Don’t try to confuse them or affect their minds, because they have none. Something that dos right direct damage can work for sure.”

Jebber cast cure light wounds and held on to it, hoping to get to Kolthak in time to help. Unfortunately, he slipped while climbing down the rope and fell to the floor below. Fortunately, he landed right next to Kolthak’s unconscious form.

Lealani pulled out her bow and fired. Her arrow went wide, missing its target. Rathan attacked the beast in front of him and connected solidly!

The metal beast in front of Rathan attacked but missed. Shrapnel was not as lucky and the creature’s teeth tore into him.

“Well this isn’t going to be any fun.” Shrapnel said as he drew a vial of oil, took a single step to the southeast, and attacked. His blow hurt the creature greatly. It looked as if one more solid hit would take it out.

Ilyra fired her crossbow but missed. Jebber reached out and healed Rathan before moving to get out of direct combat. Lealani again fired her bow but missed. Rathan missed as well.

Kolthak looked at his leg and the fact that he’s standing again, then glanced at Jebber. “Thank ye lad! I hate to be inconvenient, but I could really use another one of whatever ye gave me.” He  turned back to the Iron Defender that chomped him and said “As for you ya tin-plated son of a bitch, have a bite of this!” Kolthak’s axe buried itself deep in the creature’s neck and it dropped to the ground.

The other creature attacks Rathan but misses. Shrapnel hurled himself at a dog, yelling “God I hope they didn’t notice that! I’ve gotta look brave in front of the fleshies or else they might figure out that I’m not in full working order!” His blow bounces off the dog’s hide.

Once again, Ilyra missed with her crossbow, cursing under her breath.

“Master Dwarf, I’m afraid that’s all the Host has graced me with today,” Jebber said as he moved to fire a shard at the remaining beast. His attack missed.

Lealani began to climb down the rope. As she did, Rathan swung one last time and connected with the beast, sending it to the ground. He put away his mace and lent a hand to Lealani as she climbed down the rope. “Watch your step, it is a bit rough down here.”

She took his hand and let him help her down, having seen the final blow up close. “Thank you for the help Rathan. You felled that creature easily like a mighty warrior. But you are injured?” she asked.

“I was, but thankfully I got some healing help. I feel fine now. Perhaps we should both scout together in case there are any other surprises.”

Lealani nodded, “I’m not certain how quiet you are but I will need light so that is probably for the best. Let’s go together.”

“I think it is reasonable to say that I will be much quieter than our metal friend there.” Rathan said with a twinkle in his eye.

Lea smiled. “Yes, of that I am sure.” Making sure there were two torches, one for the others and one for them, she said to the rest, “We will return shortly. Stay here and rest.”

Jebber looked at the remaining group. “Friends, I propose we either make camp now, or proceed stealthily and retreat at any hints of trouble.”

Leanlani and Rathan ventured out. They had a torch and while not exactly quiet they try not to make too much noise. They scouted out the area, gathering information as they go.

Searching the area, they found something that no one noticed previously; each iron defender now had a metal rod that had popped out of its forehead. One rod was rectangular, the other triangular. They weren’t sure if the iron defender that was currently buried under the collapsed roof also has a rod in its forehead. The shelves on the southern wall were mostly empty, though there were a number of objects wrapped in ancient oilcloth.

In the easternmost section of the room was a huge forge and furnace. It took up the easternmost 10 feet of the room. Directly in front of the forge lay metal tiles covering 10 feet of the floor. Three depressions, evenly spaced atop the forge, showed a pentagon, a triangle, and a square.

“Over here, Rathan, I think we may have found something. We’ll need to get to that buried guardian too.” Lealani pointed out all that was found and indicated she would spend a good amount of time on the shelves.

Rathan retrieved the rods from the defenders and set about to dig out the one under the debris. “Kolthak. Shrapnel. I need your help moving this stone.” With all three of them lifting, they were able to move the stone that was covering the third metal dog. It, too, had rod in its forehead; this one was pentagonal in shape.

“Tula sinome Rathan,” Lealani said. “Look what I found. None of it is magical but it will probably be helpful or at least we can sell it for gold to help with our adventure. I would suggest staying clear of the area by the forge, there is magics there that can injure.”

She pointed out a suit of chain mail, a very nice chain shirt, three small steel shields, a heavy mace, a longword, a very nice rapier, a very nice heavy mace, and two sunrods. Lealani lifted the rapier and started twirling it around. “This looks like good quality, perhaps better than my own
practice weapon.”

Kolthak will moved over to take a look at the swag Lelani found and see if that nice chain shirt might fit him; he seemed rather disinterested in the rest of it.

Lealani made her way to Rathan, “Heruamin, My Lord can you tell if this is well made?” She held up the rapier for him to look over.

“It appears that you have found a fine blade, dear lady. Can you wield it effectively?” Rathan asked.

“Not as impressively as you can wield your weapon but I would say I’m passable. Care to find out?” she teased.

“Show me,” Rathan said back.

The corner of Lealani’s lip turned up into a mischievous grin and before he knew it Rathan had a rapier come swinging quickly towards him.

Rathan takes a step forward inside Lealani’s arc and grabbed her wrist while pivoting to her inside. He stopped just inches from her face, her rapier pointed down toward the floor. Without warning, he leaned forward and kissed her softly. “Yes, I think you can handle it perfectly.”

Lealani was caught surprised, and for a moment after the kiss she was lost in Rathan’s deep brown and soulful eyes. However, this gave him a warning – suddenly her eyes flashed with fire and instead of her sword it was her hand that flew towards his face with speed and force.

Rathan used his other hand to block Lealani’s slap just inches from his face. Seeing the fire in her eyes, he kissed her again then backed away with a smile on his face, “Yes, I believe you can handle things just perfectly.”

Standing only a few feet away Rathan could still see the fire in her eyes as she considered the man standing in front of her. Years of training and interacting with all different races and kinds of people had never put her in front of someone so brazen and cocky as this human was to steal such a kiss, twice! Her grip tightened on her rapier as she sized him up, much larger than she but for certain her small frame made her quicker. She raised her rapier and pointed it at the man. “Uuma ma’ ten’ rashwe, ta tuluva a’ lle,” passion brewing in her voice. Repeating in common, “Don’t look for trouble Rathan, for surely it will come to you.” She waited, readied, for Rathan to make the first move.

Rathan walked directly toward her, the point of her rapier near his chest. “Vanimle sila tiri.” With a simple gesture, he pushed the tip of her rapier away and walked toward her slowly, his eyes locked on hers. “You don’t really want to use this on me, do you?”

Leálani looked up at Rathan, almost towering over her as he walked confidently close. “Quena i’lambe tel’ Eldalie?” she asked, surprised he spoke Elvish, and let him push her weapon away.
“Cormlle naa tanya tel’raa. To steal kisses as you did and to not back down from such a challenge. Lle lava and wish to reap the reward of such bravery?” The anger is gone from her eyes and replaced with the same mischief from earlier.

Rathan looked at her, confusion in his eyes for a moment. “I admit that I only know a little Elven. But I do recognize when I am in the presence of someone who is my better and could capture my heart if I am careless.”

“Ah,” recognizing he had no idea what she just said. “Perhaps you don’t want to be careless with something so precious,” she says, running a finger across his chest where his heart resides. “Or perhaps you do,” she grinned slyly.

During all of this, Kolthak had taken it upon himself to study the forge more closely. He turned to the ladies. “Do either of you ladies have any experience dealing with magical traps? There seems to be a shocking grasp trap laid on the tiles and the forge.”

Out of the corner of her eye Lealani noticed the dwarf now digging around in the rubble. She stepped closer to Rathan, her breath in his face, her scent surrounding him, “I am intrigued by you, brave warrior. Shall we continue this conversation later?”

“I look forward to hearing what you have to say, my lady. Let’s go help our companion in the meantime, shall we?”

“Yes, we shall.” She stood looking into his eyes a few long moments before she moved away with a grin. “Ai’ atar,” she called to Kolthak. “Have you retrieved the last piece from the guardian? We need it here,” she points to the third hole. “Our brave warrior has the other two. If we each take one we can insert them and see what happens. But be warned, there is evocation magic here.”

After climbing around a bit on top of the forge Lealani said, “The trap is centered on the three depressions on top of the forge here. I can’t disable the magical trap but hopefully if we put the pieces in correctly it won’t go off. Still, I suggest the not strong of body leave the area before we try.”

Kolthak answers. “Fortunately, the trap only covers the metal floor plates and the forge itself, so anyone not standing on one of those should be safe. I would suggest we have one person place the rods so as to minimize the risks. Whoever volunteers should make sure they aren’t wearing metal armor or the like before trying.” Kolthak moved to make sure he wasn’t standing on or right next to the affected areas.

Jebber piped up. “Might I suggest we recuperate before attempting something that will either bring us harm, or open a door into danger?”

Lealani looked at him. “You were all supposed to be resting while Rathan and I searched around for clues. We weren’t going to be setting off traps or anything,” she grinned, “Not on purpose. I suggest we keep with that plan but I’m open to other ideas.”

Kolthak nodded. “Aye, rest and a chance to heal sound good. We should be fairly secure here, but we might want to have someone keep watch on the roof. If someone came on us unawares and cut the ropes we might have a hard time getting back out.”

Looking at the door to the building, it was barred from the inside. They could also see that the lock to the door turns. It looked as if they could unlock the door and open it from this side.

Kolthak made his way out and up to the roof. He untied the ropes from their anchors and made his way back down and inside, locking the door behind him. “We might want to take an opportunity to rest before we venture further. Anyone else interested?”

First this:

WIZARDS OF THE COAST SUES EIGHT FOR COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:

Contact: Tolena Thorburn
Wizards of the Coast LLC
425-204-8011
tolena.thorburn@Wizards.com.

April 6, 2009 ‹ Wizards of the Coast LLC today filed three lawsuits in US
District Court for the Western District of Washington against eight
individuals, including named defendants located in the United States, Poland
and the Philippines, for copyright infringement of its recently-released
Dungeons & Dragons® Player¹s Handbook® 2. The lawsuits allege that the
defendants illegally distributed the Player¹s Handbook 2 via free
file-sharing websites and that these illicit uploads resulted in a
substantial number of lost sales and lost revenue to Wizards of the Coast.

³Violations of our copyrights and piracy of our products hurt not only
Wizards of the Coast¹s financial health but also the health of whole gaming
community including retailers and players,² said Greg Leeds, President of
Wizards of the Coast. ³We have brought these suits to stop the illegal
activities of these defendants, and to deter future unauthorized and
unlawful file-sharing.²

The complaint alleges, among other things, that one or more of the
defendants purchased digital copies of Player¹s Handbook 2 and then
illegally posted the copies onto popular file-sharing sites for free access
and download by the general public.

Then this on RPGNow:

Wizards of the Coast has instructed us to suspend all sales and downloads of Wizards of the Coast titles. Unfortunately, this includes offering download access to previously purchased Wizards of the Coast titles. We are in discussions with Wizards about their decision to change their approach to digital sales of their titles and will post more information as we have it

And finally this from WOTC_Trevor on ENWorld:

Hey all. I wanted to step in and shine a mote of light on the subject. First off, this cesation of PDF sales has absolutely nothing to do with the Internet Sales Policy. I know it’s the 6th of April and I can definitely see how the two would appear linked, but the truth is, this is a completely seperate matter.

Unfortunately, due to recent findings of illegal copying and online distribution (piracy) of our products, Wizards of the Coast has decided to cease the sales of online PDFs. We are exploring other options for digitial distribution of our content and as soon as we have any more information I’ll get it to you.

It’s times like these I just want to slap whomever makes these decisions upside the head and tell them to face reality: Pirating happens! That’s right; it happens!

It’s an unfortunate side effect of the business. If you release something that people want, then there will always be people willing to steal and give it to them for free. And this is not a new phenomenon. Before Wizards was releasing their material in PDF format, people used to scan in the books and make them available for download. They’ve always been out there and they always will be. All this does is drive yet another wedge between Wizards of the Coast and what is slowly but surely becoming a less loyal fanbase.

Oh and this can’t really be about money. Seriously. Because if Wizards thinks they’re actually losing a lot of money in “lost sales” because of this, then they must expect it to have been number one on the Wall Street Journal‘s list of top non-fiction books last week instead of number four, right? It’s number 14 this week. Now, I’m not naive enough to think that this pirating doesn’t cost Wizards any money, but there’s no way it costs them enough money to warrant pulling all of their electronic material and going home.

More than anything, I’m mad because of this. It’s infuriating to think that a company could have had such a great relationship with its customers for so many years (I’m refering to 2000 – 2008 with the release of 3rd edition and the generous availabilty of the material to other companies to help enrich the genre) to pulling everything away and basically saying, “Don’t f*** with us or we’ll take it away from you.” Maybe the last eight years were just a setup…

“I’ll look at it,” Lealani stepped forward and concentrated on detecting magic on the hatch. A few moments passed as she studied the door.

“It’s not trapped, however, there is a magical aura of some sort. I don’t think anyone here is powerful enough to dispel it though. It may just be…,” she paused for a moment, tapping her lips as she pondered. “Let’s find out.” She touched the door.

As she did. the door glowed for a split second and, suddenly, three orbs materialized out of thin air and shot towards her. All three hit and sizzled on her skin causing major damage and knocking her down. The door stopped glowing. “Ouch,” she said feebly.

Rathan leaned over to give Lealani a hand up, “Are you hurt?”

She took his hand and let him pull her up. “Owww, yes. Very. That probably wasn’t smart but I thought I would be fast enough to get out of the way. At any rate, I need some time to catch my breath before we go on.”

“You are injured, milady. If I may?” Jebber cast cure light wounds on Lealani and her wounds disappeared.

“Does anyone have another idea to get past the door? Is there something in Master Geldam’s journal about it?” Rathan asked the group.

“If the ward is discharged, perhaps we open the door by conventional means?” Jebber attempted to open the door in the most obvious way.

As soon as Jebber laid a finger on the door, it quickly glowed bright and three balls of acid shot at him. One of them missed and sizzled on the ground. The other two hit solidly. The door stopped glowing.

“It seems it was not in fact discharged,” Jebber observed.

“Thank you for the healing, Jebber. And no, I don’t think the door is discharged. I would suggest not touching it again.” Lealani said, stating the obvious to everyone. “There must be something in the book, maybe a password of sorts. Let’s take a look before more of us get fried. Maybe we need to hold the book up to the door and it’s a key or some sort?”

“The book responded to a Cannith signet, no? Do we have a sign or sigil of that House?”

“Let’s see what the map and the book can tell us,” Kolthak said as he looked at the map. It gave no indication on how to open the door.
“Well the map was no help.” Kolthak rolled up the map and put it away before turning to Ilyra. “Lemme see the journal for a moment, would you? He flipped through it looking for information about wards. Seeing no writing on the pages, he held the book in front of him and closer to the door. Nothing happened.

“Well…here goes nothing…” he said as he, very hesitantly, touched the Cannith sigil on the book to the one on the door.

The moment the book touched the hatch, the sigils on the hatch glowed brightly. They saw the bars that were holding the hatch closed move out of the way and the door slowly opened outward. A blast of warm air came from within. Inside, it was pitch black. They saw a small room with a hole in the floor. Looking through the hole, they saw a shaft that descended downwards into darkness.

Kolthak breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank the Host, I was afraid that wouldn’t work. Well my friends, let’s get through this door before it shuts.”

“Excellent work,” Lealani smiled as she squeezed Kolthak’s arm. “Looks like we’re going down,” she said, stepping through the doorway.

Peering down into the hole, Rathan said, “Could be a long way down. I’ll dig out my rope.”

Kolthak spoke. “Perhaps we should see about taking a bit of a rest before venturing further as most of us are wounded, and given our current experiences, are likely to encounter several more hostile warforged…”

“That IS a good idea, I am not feeling my best myself,” said Lealani.

“Perhaps a rest would be good. Can we shut this door so we aren’t surprised from more than one direction?” Rathan asked. After studying it for a few moments, they decided the door was easily closable. Jebber lit his lantern.

“A watch order then? So the sleeping can rest comfortably?” suggested Lealani.

Kolthak replied, “If I remember correctly, the warforged don’t sleep so he may be able to keep watch for everyone.”

Lealani quirked an eyebrow and looked him in the eye. “Is it wise to leave the malfunctioning and obviously… unfeeling towards us fleshy peoples in charge of all of us while we rest?”

“Perhaps you’re right,” said Kolthak. “However, you and Jebber are the most in need of rest as you are the worst injured and have both spent of your magical energies today.”

Lea nodded then slid down against the wall. “I should watch first so I can reverie uninterrupted after that. I hope I can sleep, this isn’t very comfortable,” she complained.

“I can take the first watch with Shrapnel and Lealani,” offered Rathan.

“Clearly they trust me… perhaps too much. What would they think if I perchance pondered the perilous pontification of performing a pitiful parlance with the praetorean positables? Or worse? What if I really was just another agent like the other sixteen warforged that have attacked so-far? Hah! That would be quite funny, I think,” Shrapnel “thought” to himself.

“You can’t be another agent, my pondering companion,” said Rathan. “Why would they try to kill you first if that were the case? Furthermore, Master Geldam placed his trust in you, which is good enough for my trust.”

“What is that idiot talking about? I didn’t say anything to him,” said Shrapnel.

“Have we discussed getting him fixed?” Lealani nodded towards the warforged. “He’s a good ally in this fight, if ally is what he is, but this inner talking thing could use some…work.”

Jebber, who had been busy healing the group, spoke last before they rested. “There, that’s the last of my readied Orisons. I’ll take watch with anyone.”

Luckily for them, the rest of the night passed uneventfully.

Once everyone was awake, Rathan offered the use of his rope. “Shall we pack it up and head down the shaft? I can secure a rope to make the climb easier.”

“Ready when you are,” answered Jebber. “With a rope this won’t be much harder than rappelling through the stacks back in Korranberg, though it was less slimy there.”

Rathan secured the rope to a piton in the wall and then tossed it down the shaft. He lit a torch and said, “Ready?”

“I’ll go first, I have a feeling I’m the most dexterous of this bunch,” Lealani said with a grin. “It’ll help if someone else holds the light though, in case of trouble.”

The vertical shaft was a mix of crumbling earth and ancient stone, and centipedes and other insects covered the walls like living decorations. The long descent took them deeper into the bowels of Dorasharn Tower. Soon, the shaft began to angle, and by bracing themselves they could actually walk along one of the surfaces. Farther still and the shaft became a tunnel and the footing was no longer difficult to maintain or treacherous.

The tunnel eventually opened onto a vast chamber, though it emerged about six feet above the floor. No one could see the distant walls in the darkness, and the ruins of nearby walls and building appeared as deep shadows in the eternal tower night, but they could feel the change in air currents and pressure that indicated a large open space ahead of them.

“This looks very interesting, sorta like back home. Let’s see where we need to go after we get on the ground,” Kolthak looked at the map to determine their present position and where to go next.
It showed the House Cannith foundry as being in the northwestern corner of this chamber, roughly 1500 feet from where they were standing.

“Well group, according to this our destination is about 500 yards that way,” Kolthak pointed towards the northwest corner of the cavern. “Shall we go do and get what we came for?”

“Absolutely, let’s go,” Lealani answered.

Jebber poured a pint of oil into his lantern and lit it. “Let’s go.”

Lealani took the lead, walking towards the large chamber that lay before the party.

“Be careful, my Lady,” cautioned Rathan as they made their way into the darkness.

Jebber looked around slowly, on his face a guileless expression of wonder. “How remarkable, that people and … other people can eke out trade together in such a place.”

Kolthak broke out the map and tried to make sense of where the cluster was in relation to their current location. Unfortunately, the map simply led from the cluster itself to the location of the foundry, not to the cluster itself from the sewers.

Jebber’s voice, coming from the nearest stall, seemed a bit too loud. “Hello, my good merchant! Might you have a recent map of the area for sale? I fear mine may be out of date.”

Jebber was standing at a stall run by a dirty halfling. His wares were dirty and, at first glance, didn’t seem very useful. He smiled at Jebber’s approach. “Why would you need a map, my good sir? I have everything you need right here! What is it you’re looking for? I’m certain I can provide it!” He gave Jebber a dirty grin.

“We’re looking for the remains of another group who was down here investigating rumors of trouble by a couple of the valve clusters. So if you happen to have an up to date map of nearby valve clusters, I’ll be glad to compensate you for it. If you know of any recent trouble around any specific valve clusters, I could possibly compensate you for that as well.”

The halfling smiled even wider. “But of course I do! What kind of merchant would I be if I didn’t have a map of the clusters down here. I don’t happen to have one on me but I could get you one for, say, 10 gold pieces.”

“What is your name, friend? I’ll give you two gold for the map, one gold for the rumors, and six gold more on our way back if both prove accurate. Also, you will be first to know of any new dangers encountered on our route.”

“Stainez, my friend. My name is Stainez. I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask for the money up front. It’s better for business that way, dontcha know? Lots of people you can’t trust down here.”

“I understand completely. Three for the map, two for the rumors. If we come back alive, first dibs on the information will still be yours, Stainez.”

“5 for the map and 2 for the rumors,” Stainez counter offered.

“Four for the map, two for the rumors. Did you want first dibs on our return information, or are we to sell that elsewhere?”

“Deal, good sir! Cash up front, of course.” He held out a dirty palm.
“Cash up front means before we depart, not before we see the map, my friend Stainez.”

Stainez frowns. “But that wasn’t the deal, sir. I said cash up front and you agreed. We have an arrangement and I expect you to keep up your end of the bargain.”

“My friend, you are keeping something from me. I would know what it is. Honesty is a precondition to any bargain. Yours is beyond reproach, is it not?”

“Of course it is, friend. Which is why when you agreed to ‘cash up front’ I trusted you. Now it seems you are nothing but a liar and a swindler. I would ask that you leave my stall so that others may peruse my wares.”

Kolthak drifted over to where Jebber is talking to the halfling. “So lad, are you having better luck then I did? Not too hard to manage though.”

“I thought I’d found a likely source, but this fellow is trying to strongarm me into paying for a map he doesn’t have. Perhaps we should try our luck elsewhere. What do you think?”

Kolthak looked at the halfling, then back at Jebber, with an odd look on his face suggesting disbelief at the claim of him being strongarmed by an unarmed halfling less than half his size. “My good halfling, what seems to be the trouble? I can hardly believe that a merchant such as yourself would sell something you don’t possess…”

“I never would do that, friend,” answered Stainez. “I just expect my customers to be honest and keep up their end of the bargain. ‘Money up front’ is not a new concept. Regardless, it is done and I ask that you both leave so that I can attend to other customers.”

“Ah well, we shall just have to spend our coins elsewhere. I’m sure there are those here willing to trade information for gold…”

On the other side of the stall, Shrapnel was talking to himself. “Maybe I should attempt to strong arm this fellow then… let’s see… I could threaten to eat him. That might work. Or maybe I should try to convince him in a more subtle manner, perhaps implying that I’m a wanted warforged…”

Lealani, who had been hovering near the stall, spoke up angrily. “How much is that thing you are arguing about?”

“Six gold pieces, ma’am,” answered Stainez.

“Here, I pay. Show the damned map now!”

“Thank you, friend! Now, I don’t have the map on me but I will have it tomorrow morning. Be back at dawn sharp and I will bring you your map.”

“We’ll see you here then,” Kolthak said as he turned towards the rest of the group. “Shall we look around a little and see if we can find any valve clusters while we wait for the next day? Or we can always ask around a little more to see if anyone can help us find it without a map?”

“We can wait until tomorrow or start look around again. I’m not much of a people person, but I will help anyway I can,” said Ilyra.

Jebber looks from Koltahk to Ilyra. “I do hope we haven’t just bought him a nice vacation somewhere. I felt he was concealing something.”

“You worry too much! His shop is still here, and I’m sure he knows better than to try and cheat a dwarf.” Kolthak shrugged. “Besides, Lady d’Cannith offered us a thousand gold for this heirloom, what matter a half dozen or so?”

Kolthak looked around the area a little, remembering his unsuccessful attempts at information gathering when an idea occurred to him. “I thought of something. That fellow over there with the spread of stuff, the Rats Market I think it was called? I’d bet get got those things from the lower parts of the tower. He probably knows where to find the valve clusters, or knows someone who does. Let’s go find out.”

As they looked around, a male goblin waved them over to his wares. “I’ve got a rare stick of sealing wax, only partially used, for a mere sixty coppers,” the goblin merchant says. “Or maybe you could use this fine woolen blanket with just a hint of mildew? Only thirty-nine coppers. How about a skewer of boiled rat meat? For you, just five silver. Or, perhaps, if I could point out the way to a certain valve cluster, what would it be worth to fine explorers such as yourselves? One hundred silver?”

Kolthak walked over to the goblin and his wares. “Boiled rat? I’ve usually seen it fried, how’s it taste boiled? You know where to find the valve cluster we seek? How do you know which we seek?”

Jebber meandered over at the mention of exotic food. “I’ll try the boiled rat. Always interested in local specialties.”

They each handed five silvers to the goblin and he gave them each what looked to be a boiled gray meat. “I might have what you seek. But it will cost you. How much are you willing to pay?”

While the two were eating rat, Lealani scanned the crowd. She noticed one of the people, someone who looked like a shifter, staring at the group pretty intently. Once he saw that Lealani has noticed him, he turned and walked off down the nearest tunnel.

She turned to the group, “Did anyone else see that rather shifty fellow staring at us so intently? I wonder who he is…”

“Miffy mookimg femmow?” Jebber asked through a mouth full of rat. He choked down the last of the rat boil, wiped the grease from his fingers, and got ready to run.

“Are we going after him?” asked Ilyra.

“Going after who?” asked Kolthak. “I didn’t see anyone; besides, we need to remember what we’re doing here anyway.” He turned back to the goblin. “You said you might have the answer we seek? Why don’t you tell me what you are offering, and I’ll tell you what it’s worth to us.”

“I charge you 100sp for the information,” answered the goblin.

“For that price you’ll tell us how to find the cluster we seek?”

“Of course. I take you there myself.”

“That sounds quite fair, but let me check with my companions to ensure they are ready.” Kolthak turned to the rest of the party. “This excellent goblin has offered to take us to the valve cluster we seek. I suggest we go along with him as he only wants 100sp to take us there.”

“Here,” Rathan reached into his pouch, extracted 10 gold, and handed it to Kolthak. “This better be worth it.”

“There is no reason for only one to bear this expense, we all stand to gain from it.” Kolthak handed Rathan back six of the gold pieces and replaced them with ones from his own pouch to hand to the goblin. “I’m afraid we don’t carry such a quantity of silver with us, so I hope this will do as well.”

“This will do nicely. Follow me.” The goblin folded up his blanket and started walking. He led them through numerous twisting and winding tunnels. While not numerous enough to get lost, it would have taken a very long time to find it on their own. Eventually, he pointed out a narrow passage that led to a staircase that descended deeper into the tower. E-213 was stamped into the archway above it. “That lead down to valve cluster E-213. You on your own now.”

“This does indeed look like where we need to be. I thank you for your assistance, and will see you when we return.” Kolthak handed the goblin another five silver in thanks.

After he left, Kolthak spoke up. “Well, is everyone ready to continue our explorations?”

Jebber answered, “I’m ready. But, uh, it concerns me a bit that he knew which cluster we were after without being told.”

“What the hell have I gotten myself into?” Shrapnel wondered aloud. “I’ll follow behind these monkeys, so as that I will be able to retreat if it comes to that! However, I’ll inform them that I’m just…watching their backs! BRILLIANT!”

As they climbed down the stairs, Ilyra thought she saw a glint of metal out of the corner of her eye. Suddenly, a warforged appeared from the shadows, his rapier piercing the air with deadly efficiency. As he landed directly behind Shrapnel, he growled, “You have the provost’s journal!” It’s obviously not a question. “Give the book to me, and you can live to see another day. Refuse, and we will make your deaths slow and painful.” He attacked Shrapnel but his blow missed by mere inches. Ilyra, not being surprised by her foe, raised her crossbow and fired but the bolt went wide.

As the group made ready to fight, they all heard the sounds of metal scrapping on metal and a lot of splashing. The water near the bottom of the stairs moved as something obviously just fell into it.

“Not another one! I’ll take care of whatever is in the water!” Kolthak yelled as he kept an eye on the water, ready to attack anything hostile that climbed out.

Ilyra once again fired at the warforged but missed. Shrapnel raised his fist and yelled, “Why is it always me you ugly metal bastards?” before connecting with the enemies face.

Lealani cast a daze spell on the warforged. It shook its head and just seemed to stand in place. Jebber decided at that moment to fire a crystal shard at the warforged but missed as well.

Once again, they all heard the sounds of metal scrapping on metal and a lot of splashing. The water near the bottom of the stairs moved again as something obviously fell into it.

“Way to go! Pound that cursed metal troublemaker into scrap! And you in water, I hope ya stay there till ya rust, it’ll save me the effort of smashing you into pieces!” Kolthak shook his axe threateningly, ready to bash whatever came out of the water.

Rathan kept an eye on the water and shouted, “Hit it hard, Shrapnel!”

“What the heck is in the water there?” Lealani yelled out.

Ilyra once again fired her crossbow but has a hard time aiming it through Shrapnel’s movements and misses.

Suddenly, two feral looking shifters came charging around the corner, ready to strike!

“Come get it ya furry bastard!” Kolthak took a swing at the first one to approach! His axe connected with the enemy’s side, opening a deep gash. It let out a howl as it was badly wounded.

“Trying to surprise us? It won’t work fiendish being!” Rathan stabbed at the same the furry that Kolthak hit. He easily connected and it fell in a heap, bleeding profusely. The other shifter stepped up and clawed at Kolthak. Unfortunately for the shifter, the blood on the ground made it hard to get firm footing and he slipped up, missing Kolthak.

At the same time, Shrapnel’s punch caught the warforged in the jaw, sending it to ground swiftly. Suddenly, a small ball of metal detached itself from the warforged, sprouted winged, and flew off into the tunnels, away from the party. Jebber attempted to hit the ball with a crystal shard but missed the tiny metal item.

Once again, the party heard the sounds of metal scrapping on metal and a lot of splashing. The water near the bottom of the stairs moved as something obviously fell into it.

The shifter growled and swiped at Kolthak with both claws. Unfortunately, one of them landed a stinging blow to Kolthak arm.

“Why ye furry faced bastard!” Kolthak took a swing at the shifter with his axe. “Take that!” The shifter’s head separated from its body and it collapsed.

“Good swing, Kolthak.” said Rathan approvingly.

Lealani also nodded. “But are you alright? You took a nasty hit. Also…” she moved down the step towards the water and peered into it where the sound was coming from. “What was that?”

“Be careful, my Lady. I fear we are not alone down here.” said Rathan as he put his hand on Lealani’s arm.

A quick chill shot up Lealani’s bare arm as Rathan laid his hand there. His respect and concern for her were both very… attractive. She smiled up at him. “Thank you Rathan, I will be certain to be careful.”

“Aye, I should probably take care of this injury before we press on. I may need that arm yet.” Kolthak used his foot to scoop the decapitated head into the water.

“Let me see that wound, friend,” said Jebber as he cast cure light wounds on Kolthak.

The group looted the bodies and took whatever supplies were necessary. This place was going to be a lot more difficult to survive than any of them had imagined.

“What a terrible and disgusting place,” Ilyra wondered “Hey Kolthak, nice bolts you found. Do you mind if I keep them? I don’t see anyone else using a crossbow.”

Lealani peered into the passageway and saw a tunnel to the left that goes on for a while. A few seconds later, one of the grates on the side walls lifted up and sewage poured through into the water.

“It’s the sewer grate, I guess. There is a big tunnel here too. I don’t particularly want to be walking through the muck… do we need to continue this way?”

“I think so. Kolthak, care to take lead again?” asked Rathan.

“Is anyone still in need of healing?” Jebber asked.

“Thank ye for the healing, nice to have the bleeding stopped.” Kolthak moved past Lealani to take the lead after dumping the decapitated shifter corpse in the water to see how deep it was. It
was shallow enough that he was able to move through it reasonably well without swimming. He took the lead and started moving towards the T at the other end hallway.

They made their way through the muck. When they got to the intersection, they looked left and then right. To the left, they saw another large grate. It was obvious they weren’t going that way. To the right, they saw the tunnel continued for a distance but there was a hatch on the left wall.

They made their way toward it. The circular metal hatch, set into the tunnel wall and engraved with arcane runes, was the sealed door that Elaydren told them about. In the middle of the hatch, a glowing circle of mithral depicted the same icon as on Bonal’s journal—the ancient symbol of House Cannith that predated the founding of the Kingdom of Galifar itself, a stylized anvil and hammer.